Ian's Meme

I know. I know. One of my 2007 blogging goals was to quit being enticed by memes, and this makes two in a row. But, I just had to run with Ian’s satirical meme (especially since his descriptions of my memes made me laugh out loud). And since it's satire, it doesn't really count as a real meme. So here it is.

Oh, and Ian, P.S. you must have picked up all my bad spelling habits while copying your sisters, because I didn’t even realize you’d misspelled “gnat” (silent “k,” silent “g,” who came up with these ridiculous things? Why not just spell it “nat?”) until my spell check caught it. Then again, I think that bad spelling gene just runs in the family, and there’s nothing we can do about it. We’re in good company. Gerald Durrell was a self-described notoriously bad speller.

If you fell through the rotten boards on your front porch and got stuck and became parched with thirst, what would you rather have to drink, chilled dirty sock water or warm flat Sierra Mist?
I don’t have a front porch, so, thank God, don’t have to make such decisions.

What would you rather do, make love in an outhouse or win free tickets to see the Eagles?
Are the Eagles playing somewhere like Hawai’i? And are all expenses paid? If so, then, I’d take the free tickets. (I ask, because these are the kinds of deals offered by a lot of the “classic rock” stations in Connecticut: be the ninth caller and go see some has-been band you never liked in the first place – in The Bahamas!)

When you were a child, what would you rather do, climb a tree or copy your sisters?
Copy Tarzan by climbing trees (hey, Ian, we should do a post on such games as “Tarzan and the Jungle Boys” over on Ian and Emily one of these days).

If you were stuck on a desert island would you rather have a TV/ DVD player that doesn’t work because there is no electricity on a desert island, or ten of your favorite books that are unreadable because they were drenched by the monsoons?
The TV/DVD player, because I don’t have as much hope and expectation wrapped up in TV/DVD players as I do books. Thus the disappointment wouldn’t be as great.

Of all of your neighbors, who is your favorite?
Cheyenne and Riley, the two huge mutts who live across the way and always race out to bark at me ferociosuly, even though they know perfectly well who I am.

How many gnats do you think have bitten you while you have been out on the porch writing this post?
None. The gnat problem in CT isn’t nearly what it is in NC. Besides, it's still winter up here.

How far are you willing to go for a cheap laugh?
I would start a blog that was supposed to be on-going commentary about my first year of telecommuting, realize that didn’t provide me with enough funny material, and then just start blogging about anything that came to mind, if I could make it funny.

How far would you go to get more people to read your blog?
Shhhh. I don’t want any more people reading my blog. Don’t tell anyone about my blog. Only a very special select group of people gets to read and comment on my blog.

Why do you blog?
It’s an addiction almost as bad as reading.

If you get to heaven and you can find out how many times you did something throughout your lifetime, what would it be?
How many times I've stubbed my toe.

If you were making up a fake meme and you ran out of ideas for questions, what would you do?
Ask my brother for some ideas.

If you were sitting in a hard wooden chair with the gnats biting you would you be: a) uncomfortable, b) ready to end this post, c) hungry and very itchy, d) torn between your desire to get attention through humor and your desire not to be consumed by little flying ants?
I'd probably be pissed, because I'd paid a fortune to come to this gnat-infested place on vacation, thinking I'd get to sit out on a front porch, sipping Sierra Mist, and enjoying myself.

If you are secretly superstitious and have a fear of the number 13, how many lame questions would you add to your fake meme in order for it not to end on the number 13?
I’d add 2 to make it look like I meant to have 15, as so many things come in multiples of five.

If you had the opportunity to drop Dick Cheney in the middle of an extremist Sunni militia encampment in only his briefs, would you take it?
I know I’m supposed to be a Christian, but…

Meanwhile, in keeping with this being an evening focused on Ian, I've also posted over here. Two posts in one night. Can you tell I'm procrastinating? I'm supposed to be packing for the nearly week-long whirlwind trip Bob and I are about to make down South to visit with two churches that are interested in him and squeeze in some time with family members (unfortunately, not far enough south this time to get all the way down to Ian's)? Tell you all about it when we get back.