A. Six guilty pleasures no one would suspect you of having:
1. I’ll never forget the day my former boss said to me, “When have you ever been to a baseball game?” and I left him speechless by responding, “I go to Yankee Stadium at least once a year.” I guess no one would suspect me of enjoying the fun of an afternoon eating hot dogs, drinking beer, and keeping score. And I’m happy now to be living basically equidistant from two ball parks: Philly and Baltimore.
2. Listening to (really, really loud) music and singing along (really, really badly) while driving (really, really fast) on empty country roads. I can’t indulge this one too much around here, though, because despite having tons of country roads, I have to worry too much about the Amish horses and buggies.
3. Speaking of music: country music. I hated it growing up, but now I like to listen to it, because of its story-telling quality. I prefer old-timers like Hank Williams, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, and Waylon Jennings, but Garth Brooks is fun, too, and I adore The Dixie Chicks for many, many reasons. I’m mad at those who have adopted country music the way the American flag has been adopted to represent a false, meaningless patriotism.
4. Doritos with French onion dip. You wouldn’t think I, Ms. Organic, would love something so false and junky, would you? So, so bad for so, so many reasons, but just so, so good.
5. Obscenely expensive soaps and bubble baths. I know there are people in this world who could probably feed themselves for two months on what I’ve been known to spend on these items. Sometimes, I feel (ever-so-slightly) guilty about that when I’m settling down in a tub full of organic, lavender bubbles poured from a fancy glass bottle and later washing them away with organic lavender and oatmeal soap, but not for very long.
6. Obscenely expensive and silky lingerie. I guess I love contrasts, but I don’t think there’s anything that can make a woman feel more sexy than to wear something really, really nice under a pair of comfortable old blue jeans and a soft, faded t-shirt (especially at a baseball game, after showering with obscenely expensive soap). I loved that part in Eat, Pray, Love when she’s in Italy and buys all that lingerie.
B. Six guilty pleasures you wish you had the courage to indulge:
1. Quitting my job to backpack around some exotic country for a year. I’ll never do it, though, because I’m perfectly aware that it sounds wonderfully romantic and adventuresome, but that I’d be whining like a baby with the first blister, and I’d be suicidal over something like dysentery. And I’d ruin it after six months by spending every day of the next six worrying about whether or not I’d ever get another good job once I returned home.
2. Quitting my job to travel around the world on freighter ships for a year. Wouldn’t have to worry about the blisters, then, nor the dysentery (most likely, if I kept to eating the food on the ship), but that worry over getting a job when I got back would still be a problem.
3. More than two cups of coffee per day and drinking it after 2:00 p.m. My fear of insomnia (being way too familiar with long, sleepless nights) is just too strong, despite the fact I absolutely love coffee.
4. Hot chocolate or hot Ovaltine topped with real whipped cream to accompany my Eggs Benedict or pancakes every morning for breakfast. First, I’d need to hire a full-time cook, because I’m not about to do so much as even whip cream every single morning, and, second, I don’t particularly want to become the Goodyear blimp within a year’s time.
5. Homemade dessert every night. Same problems (need to hire a cook and weight gain) as having my ideal breakfast every morning.
6. Taking a nap in the middle of a work day. I wrote about this once; I still can’t bring myself to do it (although I have once or twice when I was sick).
C. Six pleasures you once considered guilty but have now made peace with:
1. Taking a taxi instead of the subway in New York (although the subway is often more interesting to the
2. Staying in a hotel that is quite a few steps above a Microtel
3. Custom-made bookshelves (Bob is still incredibly guilty as we wait six weeks for the Amish man we hired to do this to complete them. I’m not the least bit so and can't wait to get them into our library)
4. Buying whatever food I want with no regard to price
5. An occasional night of Doritos with French onion dip for dinner and ice cream for dessert
6. Spending an evening all alone with a good book while slowly sipping a glass or two of good sherry
If you haven't done this one yet, I'm tagging you (you know who you are).