Thursday, April 08, 2010

Letters That I'll Never Send

(I got this from The Daily Meme.)

Dear President Bush,
I so wish you were back in office.
Your Big Fan,
Emily

Dear Bob's Ex,
Did you have to leave it all for me to do? Couldn't you at least have trained him to put magazines and newspapers into recycling bins?
Your Curious Successor,
Emily

Dear Mr. Gates,
Could you please add 500 other ways to accomplish each task in all of your Office programs, on top of the 500 that already exist? Oh, and, just to let you know, I most like the ones nobody ever needs or wants -- like sending half-composed emails -- that can be done with a single keystroke (specifically those keys most likely to be hit accidentally when typing on a laptop).
Thanks!
Emily

Dear Angelina,
I really don't think there has been enough publicity out there about all your children. I hope you and Brad are planning on having and adopting more, so maybe you and they can get a little more attention. I mean, it's just so amazing how you've managed to be one of those very, very rare women who has children, and I don't know why the press doesn't play it up more.
Happy mommying,
Emily

Dear PA Department of Road Works,
I think it's just a swell idea to decide to do as much road work as possible over 3-day weekends, closing down lanes for miles on major highways and interstates when everyone is traveling. I'm so glad you are in agreement with me.
Your happy motor-er,
Emily

This is fun. Anyone else want to play along? If so, consider yourself tagged.

10 comments:

sarawithnoh said...

This is fantastic. How liberating. I will be drafting my own letters soon!

litlove said...

These are hilarious! I'm feeling kind of brain dead at present, and probably not worthy of the meme, but I very much appreciated your letters!

Emily Barton said...

Sara, ooo, can't wait to read yours!

Litlove, I'm a bit brain dead myself these days (note how little attention the poor blog has been getting), but someone must have hooked some invisible jumper cables to my head yesterday and brought me to life briefly.

Nigel Patel said...

I'm in. May take a while though, my 7 day work rotation starts in less than 2 hours.

Emily Barton said...

Nigel, I imagine you might have a nice little letter to write to your place of employment about 7-day rotations...

Cam said...

I knew that you liked writing letters!

Danny said...

LOVE this idea and your letters! Just stole it for my blog...

Emily Barton said...

Cam, yeah, well, and one of these days, you'll getotr than a postcard from me,

Danny, LOVED yours!

Erica M. said...

I loved this idea and posted a version on my blog today. I left a comment here yesterday, but I guess Blogger ate it!

Emily Barton said...

Erica, I'm sorry blogger ate your comment. I'm off to read your letters now...