Ohboy!oh boy!ohboy! You've come to listen to my story. I'm just so, so happy about that! Wait a minute. Before we get started, will you give me a belly rub? Oh, thankyou!thankyou!thankyou! You are just terrific!
Anyway, a little over a week ago, I came to live with these two people. It's been great fun so far! I have my own crate where I sleep at night. I have my own bed, where I sleep and chew things during the day. They take me outside for walks, and there's so much to sniff and see and do. It's so exciting! Really, I promise you.
There's only one problem. The house is haunted. Every so often, I encounter this strange, orange, striped beast. Oh, it's horrible! It growls at me and makes this very odd noise that sounds like it's having trouble breathing. It's a sort of a "ssssssss" sound. But I won't tell you anymore. You wouldn't want to hear it. I'm putting up a brave front for the humans, though. If they would only let me, I'm sure I could chase it away.
Oh well, that is the only bad thing about this really, really awesome place. I've gotta run now, so I can go outside and eat some sticks and acorns.
This used to be a safe haven, a place where I could sleep 18 hours a day. The only things I had to protect everyone from were dustballs, moths, and the occasional stray hair tie. But not anymore. No sleeping for me. Now, I have to remain ever vigilant, and the only way I can get any sleep is to hide under a quilt.
You see, we have been attacked and are being held hostage by this horrible beast that makes whining and yipping noises and races toward me whenever it sees me. Somebody, please help! I am afraid we will all die from lack of sleep and relaxation if this goes on much longer.