I’m not one who relishes the thought of video conferencing as standard practice for those who conduct their business from home. I really don’t want to have to worry about making myself presentable to colleagues and authors before 11:00 a.m. every morning, and it’s hard for me to believe I used to do that without thinking (and used to climb into a car for a 45-minute drive as well). Last week, I met a bunch of other telecommuters, and one of the things that always comes up when fellow telecommuters yak is how much we all love rolling out of bed, pouring cups of coffee or tea, grabbing some food, and being at work by 7:30.
Those of you who’ve been following my blog, know that around 11:00, when I’m ready for a break, if I’m not in a meeting, I will stop, work out, and then shower. Pre-11:00 a.m., I usually look like one of those patients you’d see wandering around on the psych ward of a hospital – no makeup, hair unwashed and barely combed, sporting ratty running shorts and exercise bra, and walking around barefoot. The only thing missing is the teddy bear or baby doll clutched to the chest.
However, if I’d chatted with these fellow telecommuters a little while longer, I’m sure we would have eventually gotten to the topic of telephone meetings. More specifically, how much we hate them. I’ve never thought of myself as someone who was good at picking up on body language. Smile at me, and I’m likely to look behind me to see who’s there. Stare at me, and I’m convinced I’ve spilled something on my shirt, and you’re too polite to point out the spot. Ignore me, and I’m very happy to be out of the limelight.
Suddenly, though, I’m feeling like I could have co-authored one of those pop psych books on body language, you know Does He Love You? His Stance Will Tell You, or some such thing. I had absolutely no idea how expertly attuned I was to body language and facial expressions during business meetings. Over the phone, if you can actually hear what’s going on, everyone sounds the same. The voice, I’m discovering, especially when echoed over a speaker, and despite what fiction-writers might indicate when composing dialogue, does not tend to state things “angrily,” or “coyly,” or “impatiently.” The actions and expressions that go with that voice tell you what it means. When holding a receiver to your ear, straining to catch every word, and to figure out exactly who’s speaking now, you can’t see who’s looking at whom. You can’t tell who's pushing back from the table. You can’t tell who’s falling asleep and who’s riveted. You have no idea if everyone’s rolling their eyes or not in response to what you just said.
And then there’s the silence. Silence, believe me, when you’re sitting at one end of a receiver, knowing there are supposed to be at least five people sitting around a table at the other end, is anything but "golden." "Basement bomb shelter black" is what springs to mind. Especially if you were the last one to speak. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has just left the table, and I’m being broadcast over that speaker phone like some kind of village idiot. Maybe after a while, the cleaning people will come wandering in, smile to themselves over the fact that fool actually thinks people are listening, and press the button on the conference phone, silencing me forever.
Okay, so when, exactly is video conferencing going to become a mainstream form of communication? If you call me and see me clutching a teddy bear to my chest, you’ll know what kind of damage teleconferencing has inflicted over the years.
4 comments:
Funny, funny post today Emily! How awful to have to hold a conference over the telephone - how disconcerting! When I was learning languages, the phone call was always the most dreaded task because it's really hard to follow people without visual clues. Really really hard. I'd just hang on to that teddy bear, if I were you!
Thank goodness all my colleagues at least speak English!
I believe there are three big issues with telemeetings. The first one is that we want to mimick real-life meetings and find our usual visual cues and other flesh-and-bone (and deceitful) indicators. I do not think it is possible. The telecommunication hardware is simply not up to the task. Even with video, how are you supposed to know who is speaking when there are fewer than four pixels for each person's face? (from personal experience). And with the phone, the very bad habit phone manufacturers have of setting a microphone threshold that wipes out all ambient noise and occasionally eats the first two or three syllables of each sentence is plain dreadful.
The second issue, the complement of the first one, is that we do not make the most of what information technology can give us with telemeetings. I mean, you could have a map of the other room, you could have the resume and background of the person talking popping up on the screen, you could manage a priority list of people requesting to talk, you could have instant breakaway discussions, you could have instant anonymous one-click feedback so you could know how many people want you to skip to the next slide... There is a whole world of computer-aided work practices which is totally unexplored.
The third issue is that we do not spend nearly as much time together on a telemeeting as we would on a business trip. For one thing, the meeting should profit from the time saved on travelling. Then what about the lunch hour and evening socializing time with the customer/business partner? With a telecon, it's '*ny other question? -- long silence -- *nk you, then, bye-bye -- clonk -- no signal splash screen'.
Ooh, I want that one-click feedback gizmo now!
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