Why is it that when one telecommutes, everyone else in the world thinks she isn’t really working? Why do they suddenly assume she has all the time in the world? I’ve noticed that the first remark people seem to make when I announce I telecommute is, “Oh, that must be nice. You have really flexible hours, don’t you?” The thought bubbles above their heads read “’Flexible hours’ = ‘only work when the spirit moves you.’”
At least, I assume that’s what they’re thinking. Otherwise, I can’t imagine why they (in this case, oh, I don’t know, “they” could possibly be husbands) seem to think that you can now be the sole errand-runner in the house, since, they, of course, have to be at work all day long. Nor why they (a family member, possibly) might say something like, “Well, you can do your work anywhere, right? Dad has five doctors’ appointments coming up…” Or (no need to consider who might utter this free-for-all) “Oh, you can take this afternoon off to come do this with me. You can always work tonight.” Right. Like I want to be working from 6:00 – 10:00 at night (all right, I know I often do anyway, but that’s a “feel-good-about-what-I-do” sort of working, not a “guilty-because-I-took-a-three-hour-long-lunch” sort of working).
These sorts of people are annoying enough, but the most annoying are those who insinuate you really must not be working. How cushy it must be to sit at home all day, eating the proverbial bonbons and watching the soaps on T.V. I want these people to know, first of all, that it’s Toblerone bars and Cadbury Cream Eggs (that is, when it isn’t Girl Scout cookies and cheese), not bonbons. Secondly, it’s Ellen Degeneres, not the soaps.
Okay, here’s my dirty little secret. I love Ellen Degeneres. If I hadn't been so positively distracted by the extraordinary sex appeal of males all my life, Ellen would be my kind of woman (well, Ellen and Hilary Swank). And, yes, one of the nice things about working from home is that, when I want, I can quit work at 4:00 p.m. (since I can also start work at 7:00 a.m.) to watch her, because that’s what time she comes on in my T.V. Land. The really cool thing is that I can quit work at 4:00, watch her, and then go back to work, if I so desire.
Television is not a favorite leisure-time activity of mine. In the days when I was never home, because I was commuting, turning on the T.V. was the last thing I ever thought of doing. Home time was for reading and cooking. I can’t tell you a thing about the latest shows. I’m probably the only woman in America who’s never watched a single episode of American Idol, Desperate Housewives, or Survivor.
Personally, I lost interest in television around season six of Frasier. This had nothing to do with losing interest in the show, one of – if not the – best sitcoms ever produced. (I have no idea why such a clever, hilarious, intellectually-inclined show, sometimes worthy of Shakespeare in its ability to pull off comedy of error, ever managed to make it so successfully in this country. It gives me hope, though, that it did.) My problem was that I couldn’t be bothered to figure out which night it was on, since it kept switching. I found it much easier to pick up a book than to try to keep up with it.
Television has become more appealing as of late. I find myself actually checking the TV listings, especially now it’s so easy to do so online and to pick the version geared toward the mega-expensive-television-viewing medium of one’s choice, which means (just like in the old days) the channel numbers listed actually match the ones on my T.V. That was when I discovered Ellen comes on at a good time for me. I’m usually beginning to run out of steam around 4:00 p.m. If she has someone hot and energizing on the show (use your own imagination here. I’m not sharing mine), I can be galvanized into action, so that I sit back down at my computer and deal with that difficult issue I’ve been ignoring all day. If she has someone on who’s so sleazy and annoying (I’d much rather name names here, but I will restrain myself) that even her dancing doesn’t perk me up a little, I can decide it’s time to call it a day and resort to the enticements of the kitchen, while inserting an old Talking Heads c.d. into my c.d. player and imagining David Byrne would like to dance with me.
I wonder if Ellen realizes how much power she has over productivity in the workplace.
3 comments:
am not sure about Ellen - I saw her show for the first time here in Sydney and it just made me want to go to work! It was all a little too happy/cheesy for me!
Understandable. I wasn't so keen after only one viewing myself. It grew on me, though, probably because it seems to be so much less "let's-see-how-many-tears-we-can-get-on-stage" and schmaltzy than any of the other talk shows I've ever made the mistake of watching.
I really like Ellen Degeneres. Although I don't think I ever caught her tv show. I also spent a lot of my working life working from home (doing a PhD and so on) and it was really annoying how everyone assumed I was not therefore working, but able to shop, cook, clean, welcome tradesmen, arrange anything that needed arranging and buy all Christmas and birthday presents. Really annoying.
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