Friday, November 23, 2007

More Rattling Chains or Are They Jingle Bells? As Well as a Meme

Well, since we're being forced to move into the Christmas season, whether we're ready or not, I've finished my ghost story over at Things that Go Bump in the Night. (Stef, this is the one I promised to send you.) I posted it from beginning to end to make it easier to read, and I'd love some feedback (have even conveniently included questions for readers to answer to help with this). And don't worry. I won't be hurt if the only feedback you want to give me is, "Forget ghost stories." Meanwhile, until I get that feedback, I think I'll write a few Christmas ghost stories, but don't worry, yet again: I won't subject you-all to those. Now that I'm done revising this story and have completed Cam's roundtable discussion (wasn't it great?), it's back to a regular blog-posting schedule right here for now.

What the Eye Doesn't See Meme

Becky created this meme, for which I am an ideal candidate. Unfortunately, she created it so long ago, many of you may have forgotten all about it. You can refresh your memory over here. In the meantime, here is my list of five advantages to being extremely near-sighted.

1. A great excuse -- being a contact-lens wearer and going places without solution, lens cases, and glasses is the perfect excuse never to have to spend the night anywhere I don’t want to (in my single days: that “iffy,” hinting-he’d-like-me-to-spend-the-night date’s apartment. A few years ago: my father in-law’s place when it was snowing up a storm Christmas day, and he was wondering whether or not it was safe for us to drive all the way home. Now: clingy friends of Bob’s and mine who we know will keep us up all night with all their woes. You get the picture, I’m sure).

2. Christmas tree lights -- there’s nothing cooler than looking at a multi-color-lighted tree sans glasses or contact lenses. The lights turn into blurring, soft, wheels, and they monopolize the tree, so that tacky ornaments are invisible.

3. Handing over the car keys -- my night vision is particularly bad, and I’m not a big fan of driving at night (especially now that I live in an area where horses and buggies go roaming around after dark). I happily hand over car keys to anyone willing to chauffeur me with the excuse that I’m likely to get us into an accident with my poor vision. This also means I can drink alcoholic beverages without having to worry, since I’m rarely ever assigned “designated driver” status.

4. Instant intelligence – people really do seem to think that those of us who wear glasses are smarter. I don’t wear my glasses all that often, because they bother me (never seem to sit comfortably on my nose, fog up when it’s hot and muggy outside, attract dirt, slide off if I work up a sweat, etc.), but when I’m feeling the need to counter-balance my blond hair, I’ll put them on.

5. Payback – I have one of those husbands who doesn’t seem to be able to find anything on his own, always needing my help to find anything he’s lost and often expecting me to drop what I’m doing to help him. Every so often, I’ll take my glasses off to pull on a sweater, wash my face, look at a Christmas tree, or something, forgetting which table or counter I put them on, and I literally can’t find them (yes, I’m that blind without them). He has to drop whatever he’s doing and come find them for me. Hmmm…maybe I should do this more than every-so-often.

If you’re blind as a bat and have spent most of your life lamenting how horrible you look in glasses, I’m tagging you to give this meme a whirl.


Rebecca H. said...

Hmmm ... I have decent vision, but I can certainly see the benefits of being near-sighted!

Anonymous said...

I'm near-sighted, but not as near-sighted as my husband who is practically blind without his glasses or his lenses. I always thought the best advantage of this was the fact that I don't have to worry about how I look first thing in the morning. (And I will read your ghost story and send you some proper comments on it!)

Anonymous said...

Oh yay! I will read the story as soon as I can!