Friday, February 27, 2009

This is NOT a Meme (Or Even a Note)

This is a guest post, taken off brother Ian's Facebook page. Those of you familiar with all the "notes" going around on FB, which are basically just (more demanding) blog memes in different (less creative) forms, might find this to be laugh-out-loud funny. Those of you not familiar with FB might still find it amusing. Then again, maybe it's just the quirky Michie sense of humor, and we're the only ones who will find it funny. (I'm pretty sure it was inspired by all of Ian's family members tagging him for notes he's too busy to do.)


Find a four hour block of time that you can commit to this note.

Type out every question on the IRS 2008 income tax return form (not the EZ!) into a word document.

Cut and paste every other question to a separate word document, alternating every third question, and replacing the second question with the third, and the third with the second.

Close the second document saving it to a file named "double secret whammy file."

Return to the first document.

For every even-numbered question get out your iPod.

For every odd numbered question turn on the TV.

For every question that has the letter "a" in it more than once turn on all the lights in your house and sing "I did it My Way" at the top of your lungs (then turn the lights back off--you don't want to waste energy these days).

Go to the first question.

To answer the first question hit shuffle on your i pod and use the first song title that comes up as your answer.

Decide that you don't want all your friends knowing you have "The Muppet Movie" soundtrack on your iPod, so try for the next song.

"Mandy" by Barry Manilow...try again.

"In the Pines" by Nirvana...too creepy.

"Peace, Love and Understanding"...okay that'll work unless something better comes along.

For the second question, set up a TV tray next to the television and grab a beverage, a legal pad, a uniball roller pen, and place a baseball cap on your head backwards.

Close your eyes and hit two random numbers on the remote.

Transcribe the first eight minutes of dialogue of whatever show comes on and translate into Spanish.

Find A Spanish speaking person to translate it back into English.

This is your answer to question two.

For the third question, reveal your deepest darkest fears, emotions, and secrets in full detail leaving nothing out, not even that one thing you've never told anybody, and swore you never would.

Realize that half of the people on your friends list are relative strangers, some are people you know only casually, others know you well enough to be upset by the information, and a few could use it against the ones in law enforcement.

Rewrite the deepest darkest fear part claiming that your only real fear is that the world will never know sustained peace.

Finish the rest of the questions alternating between the iPod and the TV, and occasionally just making things up.

Select all of your friends to complete this note.

Poke any friend who doesn't complete this note every two minutes until they do.

Go the "people you might know" tool, and ask every one of them to be your friend.

If any accept, select these people to complete the note.

Poke them every two minutes until they do.

For any friend who completes this note reward them with application requests like "little garden of rotting meat," or "little fish tank of cutesie piranhas," or "little forest of adults sending cabbage patch dolls around."

Start thinking of a new note to tag people.


Amanda said...

I can't laugh! It's too horribly close to the truth. The only thing that was missing is the requirement to tag people with demands to carry out tasks requiring (advanced) photoshop or other technical skills the average n00b doesn't have

raych said...

*dies laughing*

Emily Barton said...

Ms. Tea, it IS horribly close to the truth, isn't it?

Raych, I hope you revived. We wouldn't want to be responsible for your death.

Anne Camille said...

For most accurate humerous depiction of brutal reality of Facebook, this beats your post of "FB, get thee behind me" or my draft post of "I've been abducted by aliens from the planet FB" (unpublished, of course, due to yet another notetag and an annoying Mardi Gras singing Easter Egg).,

Emily Barton said...

Cam, "most accurate humorous depiction" is right. Hope you managed to get rid of the Mardi Gras singing Easter Egg.